PLAYING AWAY

YOUR INDISPENSABLE GUIDE TO EVERY SKRILL NORTH CLUB

By Jamie Summers

I first tried to sit and gather my footballing thoughts for this week whilst sat overlooking the sea, beer in hand, in Scarborough. The unmistakeable smell of sun cream and ice cream hung in the air as a multitude of tourists slowly baked in the searing heat.

It was too hot, in fact, and I couldn’t put pen to paper to form anything remotely resembling a flowing piece of prose. But in between pondering whether to get another pint in and talking to a supporter of North Ferriby United, what struck me was how lively the North Yorkshire seaside resort is nowadays.

Once upon a time, Scarborough Away would have been a cracking day out. I’ve never experienced it myself, but it’s the type of place that has the potential for creating great footballing memories.

Unfortunately, Scarborough FC were wound up in 2007. Having dropped out of the Football League after 11 years in the late 90s, financial difficulties eventually culminated in their liquidation and expulsion from the Conference North 6 years ago. The Seasiders’ McCain Stadium was demolished in 2011 and is now home to a sports complex.

What struck me in thinking about this is how it’s the type of away day that we could be enjoying this coming season. The Scarf refers to wearing it proudly round our necks at Chesterfield and Crewe, but barring a bloody good cup run, that won’t be happening any time soon.

For the most part, we’re entering into the unknown, excepting the odd trip. Conceivably, Scarborough could even be on our fixture list within a few years. Their phoenix club, Scarborough Athletic, is currently in the Northern Premier First Division, two levels below us.

There are some fantastic stadium names down in the shadowy depths of non-league wilderness. Droylsden’s ‘Butchers Arms’ and Lancaster City’s ‘Giant Axe’ are two that come to mind. My personal favourite is Lewes’ ‘The Dripping Pan’. Sadly, none of these teams compete in the Conference North.

 So, where exactly are we going to over the next 12 months (at least)? How far are we going to travel and what’s in store for the travelling blue and white army? Here’s a potentially boring list; still, you could always take a thrilling trip to the Supermarket, eh?

Between now and the end of April, the blue and white army will cover a total of 3,856 miles following the club this season. With the average away day being 92 miles away from SK3, the concept of a regional division can be quite deceiving.

However, with County never having played 14 of the 21 other teams at this level, it is a new chapter in our Club’s history and an opportunity to go to places that we’ve never been before. Hopefully, those places will bring rich rewards.

We’re starting a journey. Let’s hope that the pot of gold at the end of this particular journey comes with a convenient Promotion too.

Moss Lane (Altrincham FC)  

Distance: 10 miles

Capacity: 6,085 (1,323 seated)

At just 10 miles away, Altrincham are our closest game next season. We’re now competing against the traditional rivals of the mighty Macclesfield Town, while they enjoy the dizzying heights of the Conference. Life’s not fair, is it? Moss Lane is also going to be known as the J. Davidson Stadium after a bout of crap sponsorship.

Bower Fold (Stalybridge Celtic)  

Distance: 13 miles

Capacity: 6,500 (1,200 seated)

Jim Harvey’s Stalybridge Celtic have been a full-time outfit in the last couple of years, but to no avail and they missed the playoffs last term. We’re no strangers to Bower Fold, having been dumped out of the FA Trophy there in 2011. It is the only stadium in the country to face directly north. Saltergate used to face north too, but now it’s a housing complex.

Rivacre Park (Vauxhall Motors)  

Distance: 39 miles

Capacity: 3,300 (350 seated)

Vauxhall Motors are based in Ellesmere Port and are owned by the plant which provides most of the employment in that part of the world. As a fellow Cheshire club, Vauxhall are officially one of our ‘derbies’ along with the two teams above. Eeeeeeek.

Horsfall Stadium (Bradford Park Avenue)  

Distance: 43 miles

Capacity: 3,500 (1,800 seated)

For the first time in decades we’re back playing Bradford Park Avenue once again, whose proud Football League days are now long behind them with the Club being overshadowed in the last 30-odd years by neighbours Bradford City. PA are moving from the Horsfall Stadium soon, in a bid to regain their Football League status once more. Darlington Arena anyone?

Nethermoor Park (Guiseley AFC)  

Distance: 51 miles

Capacity: 3,000 (500 seated)

Guiseley is cushioned neatly within the boundary of the City of Leeds, which, unfortunately for Guiseley AFC, is home to one of the most historically successful Football Clubs this country has ever seen. Competing at the top end of the Conference North for the last few years, Guiseley are tipped to do well this term.

Wetherby Road (Harrogate Town)

Distance: 65 miles

Capacity: 3,800 (500 seated)

Harrogate should, fingers crossed, be a cracking away day. Possibly the most middle-class town in the country, it’s a great place to visit and hopefully it will be worthwhile on the pitch. The ground also has a proper quintessentially Yorkshire name: Wetherby. Ace that, innit?

Keys Park (Hednesford Town)  

Distance: 71 miles

Capacity: 6,500 (Some seats, I think).

Built in the mid-90s, Keys Park is one of the largest stadiums at this level at a capacity of over 6,000. Your guess is as good as mine as to how many seats there are though. The fewer the better tends to be the general rule. Being newly promoted, Hednesford will be an intriguing trip to make.

Llanelian Road (Colwyn Bay)  

Distance: 75 miles

Capacity: 2,500 (500 seated)

Crossing the border to Conwy should hopefully be a highlight of the campaign. Who knows, with the away game being the penultimate game of the season, it might even have something riding on it. Llanelian Road is famous for English people pronouncing it wrong, and supporters sitting on ‘The Hill’ outside to avoid paying for a ticket. After all, to pay is to fail. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

The Northolme (Gainsborough Trinity)

Distance: 79 miles

Capacity: 4,304 (515 seated)

Pretty much exactly due-east of Stockport, Gainsborough is to be found in Lincolnshire, north of Lincoln and south of Scunthorpe. The Northolme doesn’t have much in the way of seating, but does have a reasonable capacity for this level. The stadium is known as ‘The Chapel’. Chapel… Trinity…. Geddit? Hahahaha.

New Bucks Head (AFC Telford United)  

Distance: 88 miles

Capacity: 6,300 (2,200 seated)

New Bucks Head was built in 2003 on the site of the ‘Old’ Bucks Head, where Telford United formerly played. Unfortunately for Telford, the club went out of business pretty much as soon as the stadium was built, and the phoenix club moved in a season later. They somehow managed to have both fewer points and more managers than County last season. Former Southport gaffer Liam Watson took the reins there over summer.

Grange Lane (North Ferriby United)  

Distance: 95 miles

Capacity: 2,700 (not many seated)

North Ferriby is on the Humber Estuary, near Hull in the East Riding of Yorkshire. They won promotion to the Conference North last season by winning the Northern Premier League title and it is their first time in the 6^th tier. The village is known locally simply as ‘Ferriby’ and the club are known as The Villagers.

Damson Park (Solihull Moors)

Distance: 96 miles

Capacity: 3,050 (280 seated)

Solihull Moors is a merger club formed in 2007 out of Solihull Borough FC and Moor Green FC. Damson Park was the home of Borough before Solihull Moors was formed, and the current club finished comfortably in the top half last season. Birmingham City reserves also play at the ground.

Aggborough (Worcester City)

Distance: 109 miles

Capacity: 6,250 (3,140 seated)

After last season, Aggborough doesn’t need any introductions. Kidderminter Harriers’ proper but ramshackle home stadium was the site of our relegation from the Conference as we got stuffed 4-0, when Kidderminster were going for promotion. Worcester City currently play here while they wait for a stadium which, if built, will see them kicked out of the Conference North for being too small at a capacity of just 3,000.

Holker Street (Barrow AFC)  

Distance: 106 miles

Capacity: 5,000 (1,000 seated)

As if relegation wasn’t bad enough, Barrow came down with us. That means that we’ve got to go back to Barrow in Furness, the site of our ‘local’ Boxing Day game in 2011 that sparked the start of our survival that season, where it will most likely be raining. Barrow is home to that comedienne lass that looks like Kym Marsh but isn’t Kym Marsh. Can’t remember her name now.

The New Windmill Ground (Leamington FC)  

Distance: 118 miles

Capacity: 2,300 (Seats? I dunno.)

Leamington have played at the New Windmill Ground since the start of the 21^st century, and fully own their home stadium. Unlike Edgeley Park, the stadium also has a scoreboard that works properly. Local brewers the Warwickshire Beer Company made a special ale in honour of Leamington FC in 2005 after they reached the First Round of the FA Cup. Unfortunately, they were trashed 9-1 by Colchester United.

York Street (Boston United)

Distance: 124 miles

Capacity: 6,643 (5,711 seated)

With almost 6,000 seats, York Street has one of the largest numbers of seating in the division. Boston United were relegated from the Football League in odd circumstances in 2007. Playing Wrexham, it was a ‘winner takes all’ situation to decide which side was relegated. Boston entered administration during the game and went down. They were refused entry into the Conference and entered into the North division. Despite finishing in the top half, they were then demoted again in 2007-08, but immediately won promotion back to the sixth tier the following campaign.

Whaddon Road (Gloucester City)

Distance: 129 miles

Capacity: 7,066 (Well there’s some seats, alright?)

We are familiar with Whaddon Road as the home of League Two side Cheltenham Town. We will be making the trip there next season to play Gloucester City, who play there because their own stadium, Meadow Park, was fatally damaged in the extensive floods of 2007. Plans for a new stadium collapsed earlier this year.

St. James Park (Brackley Town)

Distance: 139 miles

Capacity: 3,500 (600 seated)

Far from the Sport Direct.com Arena @ St. James’ Park, or whatever it’s called nowadays, Brackley Town’s home stadium has a total capacity which is much less than 10% of Newcastle United’s. Brackley enjoyed their first season in the Conference North last season and are one of the favourites for promotion this campaign. They have won the ‘Hellenic League’ twice, but Google Maps tells me that Brackley is nowhere near Greece. Impressive.

Borough Park (Workington FC)

Distance: 145 miles

Capacity: 3,101 (500 seated)

County’s first away game of the season is the long trip up to Cumberland to face Workington. Once Football League members, the club long since fell upon hard times and were dropped from the Football League in favour of Wimbledon in 1977. Workington were once managed by Liverpool icon, Bill Shankly.

Court Place Farm (Oxford City)

Distance: 157 miles

Capacity: 2,000 (250 seated)

The lesser-known of Oxford’s two Football Clubs plays their home games at the 2,000-capacity Court Place Farm, despite the Conference North regulations stating that stadia must have an operating capacity of over 3,000 (see also: Llanelian Road). Last season was their first campaign in the Conference North, and they finished in the top half, 11 points clear of the drop.

Bridge Road (Histon FC)

Distance: 176 miles

Capacity: 4,300 (1,700 seated)

You know how this is the Conference North? Well Histon, situated in Cambridgeshire, can in no way be considered the North, but it falls within the Conference’s ‘border counties’. Histon played in the Conference for two seasons, but were relegated to the sixth tier in 2010-11. Let’s hope the 352-mile round trip is worth 3 points. It could be worse. It could be Plainmoor on a Tuesday night. The southern bastards.

Edgeley Park (Stockport County)

Distance: Depends where you live, I guess.

Capacity: 10,841 (10,841 seated)

Edgeley Park is going to stick out like a sore thumb in the Conference North. With a capacity almost touching 11,000 and being the only all-seater stadium in the division, EP wasn’t built for Conference North football. With a bit of luck, the worst team we see play at EP won’t be Stockport County this season, as has been the case for the last few years. Hopefully, we can reverse the unwanted trend of having the worst home record in England last year with our 21 fixtures in EP this coming season.